void

of life, that is. Sometimes I get this really odd sensation of emptiness, or lack of meaning to my life. Maybe not my entire life, but the state of mind I currently feel assumes that. Its weird, because a million different things could trigger it, or sometimes I have no idea at all where it came from. So I guess I'm just writing this down to try to sort of make sense of a bit of it, or to maybe get a feeling of closure before I head off to bed. I need to finish vacuuming my room first, sorry sleeping dad.

Maybe I can lose myself in Gatsby a bit more before I fall asleep, and tomorrow morning all I will feel is utter and complete loathing for school. That sounds pretty accurate.
Goodnight

Today was too cold

today at piano lessons my teacher and I were discussing a certain contemporary composer and his seemingly inhuman abilities to play his compositions at warp speed. we were talking about how its so crazy that he can play them so quickly at ease, while its such a stretch for someone else (namely, me) to learn and get used to such a high speed. then I said something rather profound. I know the reason he can play them like that is because they are his, he wrote them. this is roughly what I said:"We have to get used to playing the music this fast. But its his song, he wrote it, so its easy for him to play it however fast or slow he'd like to. The song had to get used to him."

ok it was most definitely more profound in the moment.

Today it was so cold that it hurt. I am not okay with that. I need to clean my room if it is for this reason alone: to find my gloves. Morning steering wheel and bare hands are not a good combination for happy Noelle.