today at piano lessons my teacher and I were discussing a certain contemporary composer and his seemingly inhuman abilities to play his compositions at warp speed. we were talking about how its so crazy that he can play them so quickly at ease, while its such a stretch for someone else (namely, me) to learn and get used to such a high speed. then I said something rather profound. I know the reason he can play them like that is because they are his, he wrote them. this is roughly what I said:"We have to get used to playing the music this fast. But its his song, he wrote it, so its easy for him to play it however fast or slow he'd like to. The song had to get used to him."
ok it was most definitely more profound in the moment.
Today it was so cold that it hurt. I am not okay with that. I need to clean my room if it is for this reason alone: to find my gloves. Morning steering wheel and bare hands are not a good combination for happy Noelle.
Monday, December 15, 2008
Sunday, December 14, 2008
I ran away this one time
Once upon a time when I was little and my older brother was babysitting me, I hated him. Oh, I was also a psychotic and largely bipolar little girl. Anyway so this particular brother, whom I have since bonded with, was being all sorts of bothersome, and so I called him, and I quote, a "son of a bitch" (sorry mom) at the angelic age of eight, I think. I then grabbed my plastic heart-shaped bank with an easily opened lock - its contents including something along the lines of three Dairy Queen sundae coins and a few nickels and pennies - and my ratty pink "blankie" and headed down the street. I got about three houses down, and then returned. I can't exactly remember the details of my return, but I think he might've come after me, apologizing while trying to stifle laughs that would further my escape.
My poor brother. I'm sure he had no idea what to do with such a freakish kid.
P.S. I wish Christopher McCandless would've packed one map and lived. What a waste.
My poor brother. I'm sure he had no idea what to do with such a freakish kid.
P.S. I wish Christopher McCandless would've packed one map and lived. What a waste.
Thursday, November 27, 2008
made of awesome
Wow, this is going to sound super bi-polar following the last post, but lately I am feeling so happy. After the rough patch, I am doing well, and I am just happy! Ok goofy. Lets see, perhaps I will just list some things that have been going on lately, that should be interesting.
I went to the zoo and to Sadies (pictures later), I painted half of my face green in a rare showing of school spirit, we sent in our first yearbook deadline on time- and the yearbook this year is going to be BEAUTIFUL I'm so excited, tomorrow is Thanksgiving, no wait, it is Thanksgiving now because I am up too late doing nonsense things like posting a blog about nothing at all, really.
Tonight I went to a friend's house and played ping pong, played with her cuuute little beagle, made brownies and hung out and it was a good time. We went to Maverick (drink, Palin audience) to get sodas and it reminded me of This Lullaby by Sarah Dessen, how the girls in that are always stopping to get their sodas.
I'm reading another book by Dessen, called Dreamland. It is kind of miserable, as this girl is sort of spiraling down into a completely different life than she started out with. But I like it, I like the writing.
My hands are really cold in this basement. I saw Twilight for the second time today, and I think I might love it even more. I'm just such a sucker, its terrible. Oh well! It probably won't be the last time I see it in theaters, either.
I'm going to end this blog on a sour note: I have a bone to pick with ChaCha (dial 242-242 and ask any question, there will be an answer!). What is your deal with limiting me to 20 texts a month?! Uncalled for. I miss sending nonsense texts just to get a nonsense answer back and to feel cool that I was texting someone that texted me back-ha! Ok really though, now I have to save up all my ChaCha texts for questions that I actually do want important answers to. Lame!
Thats all for tonight, I should really go to bed.
Take it away Utah State asian pizza lady:
"Hihowareyou? Youwantsomepizza? Sogoodyummy!"
thanks so much, Derek, for showing me the wonder that she is.
I went to the zoo and to Sadies (pictures later), I painted half of my face green in a rare showing of school spirit, we sent in our first yearbook deadline on time- and the yearbook this year is going to be BEAUTIFUL I'm so excited, tomorrow is Thanksgiving, no wait, it is Thanksgiving now because I am up too late doing nonsense things like posting a blog about nothing at all, really.
Tonight I went to a friend's house and played ping pong, played with her cuuute little beagle, made brownies and hung out and it was a good time. We went to Maverick (drink, Palin audience) to get sodas and it reminded me of This Lullaby by Sarah Dessen, how the girls in that are always stopping to get their sodas.
I'm reading another book by Dessen, called Dreamland. It is kind of miserable, as this girl is sort of spiraling down into a completely different life than she started out with. But I like it, I like the writing.
My hands are really cold in this basement. I saw Twilight for the second time today, and I think I might love it even more. I'm just such a sucker, its terrible. Oh well! It probably won't be the last time I see it in theaters, either.
I'm going to end this blog on a sour note: I have a bone to pick with ChaCha (dial 242-242 and ask any question, there will be an answer!). What is your deal with limiting me to 20 texts a month?! Uncalled for. I miss sending nonsense texts just to get a nonsense answer back and to feel cool that I was texting someone that texted me back-ha! Ok really though, now I have to save up all my ChaCha texts for questions that I actually do want important answers to. Lame!
Thats all for tonight, I should really go to bed.
Take it away Utah State asian pizza lady:
"Hihowareyou? Youwantsomepizza? Sogoodyummy!"
thanks so much, Derek, for showing me the wonder that she is.
Saturday, October 18, 2008
change
Wow, lots of stuff has happened since my last post. lots.
some good, some bad, but most of it can be filed under change.
People always always tell you you're going to lose and gain friends throughout school, and especially in high school. I guess I was always familiar with that inevitable fact, but I didn't necessarily personalize it too much.
I guess I should've. Maybe that would have given me more preparation- for losing some of my own friends, that is. I mean, there have always been certain rocky times with certain friends. But it was just nonsense, or I thought so, that we'd quickly get over and continue on with having good times. I always thought we were too tight, too close to go through the programmed high school losing-of-friends business.
I especially thought we were too close for it to be over things that were so trivial.
I'm not going into detail. I've rehashed it too much, and anonymous internet readers have no need or time for the finer points.
It just hurts. It doesn't hurt as bad as it did at first, but yeah, it still does.
And I hate so badly that it hurts me still, because I'm nearly positive that I'm the only one who's hurting.
I want to not care, at all. But at least I am faring better than I was. I keep trying to think of it logically. Its far better that it happened now than later. It helps me get ready to be done with high school, and helps with the separation that was needed to leave for college. So I'll continue to try to focus on the positive, and I'm sure I'll get over it soon enough. I just wish soon enough was, well, right now.
I'm lucky, though. I have a few friends that have stuck with me, and I can't even handle how glad I am that they have. I don't know what I would do if they all decided they'd had enough with me at once.
I hope these ones stick around for a good long time, even forever if they so choose.
I know I won't initiate any ends to friendships, so I hope they won't either.
I'm going to be okay.
I'll miss you, but it doesn't matter.
I'm going to be awesome.
some good, some bad, but most of it can be filed under change.
People always always tell you you're going to lose and gain friends throughout school, and especially in high school. I guess I was always familiar with that inevitable fact, but I didn't necessarily personalize it too much.
I guess I should've. Maybe that would have given me more preparation- for losing some of my own friends, that is. I mean, there have always been certain rocky times with certain friends. But it was just nonsense, or I thought so, that we'd quickly get over and continue on with having good times. I always thought we were too tight, too close to go through the programmed high school losing-of-friends business.
I especially thought we were too close for it to be over things that were so trivial.
I'm not going into detail. I've rehashed it too much, and anonymous internet readers have no need or time for the finer points.
It just hurts. It doesn't hurt as bad as it did at first, but yeah, it still does.
And I hate so badly that it hurts me still, because I'm nearly positive that I'm the only one who's hurting.
I want to not care, at all. But at least I am faring better than I was. I keep trying to think of it logically. Its far better that it happened now than later. It helps me get ready to be done with high school, and helps with the separation that was needed to leave for college. So I'll continue to try to focus on the positive, and I'm sure I'll get over it soon enough. I just wish soon enough was, well, right now.
I'm lucky, though. I have a few friends that have stuck with me, and I can't even handle how glad I am that they have. I don't know what I would do if they all decided they'd had enough with me at once.
I hope these ones stick around for a good long time, even forever if they so choose.
I know I won't initiate any ends to friendships, so I hope they won't either.
I'm going to be okay.
I'll miss you, but it doesn't matter.
I'm going to be awesome.
Tuesday, July 22, 2008
The Dark Knight
Readers (if any):
Most of this is just rambling about my day. If you'd like to skip to the venting, go ahead and skip to the bottom. :)
So I watched it today, for the second time. Only today was special because it was in IMAX. I went with Sarah and our little sisters (Katie and Chelsea). Cute sister date fun time. Anyway, we were all mislead at first in thinking IMAX was in 3D. Slightly disappointing, its just a huuuge screen, but it was still sweet and well worth it. Quite an entertaining drive up, the little sisters are crazies but we all laughed a lot.
Katie almost pooped her pants on the way back (yuck, right!)
Anyway, so even though it was the second time through, The Dark Knight still blows my mind. I can't even believe that movie, and all its glory. It is so insanely awesome I just feel like I need to throw up my insides every time I watch it so I can comprehend the sweetness. Ok, thats gross, but I mean it in the best possible way. I love how the joker is so creepy but sooo funny at the same time, I love that. Heath did an incredible job. When I start thinking about it, it just makes me so sad that he's gone, that TDK is his last complete movie. I just know that he wouldn't have ever stopped making incredible stuff; and man, with his role as the joker, what an incredible way to leave us. If his last role would've been something sucky (yeah right, I don't think he did any crappy work), it wouldn't be so memorable. I guess thats self explanatory though. Or maybe it would've, just because it was his last thing. I don't know, man. I just wish he hadn't died. Its so tragic. Poop.
Ok enough with sad stuff.
So then I came home from the movies, laid on the couch, and fell asleep cause I was so sleeeepy from the movie and the drive home. I don't really know why, probably because I have terrible sleeping habits for the summer. So then I woke up at seven, went to Young Womens, where we were doing service like cleaning church windows and pulling weeds. Neisha and I cleaned about two windows, then found some chalk and just ran from room to room writing nonsense on chalk boards and hiding from the little girls. We worked really hard.
When I came home, after only around 45 minutes (worked reeeaaaally hard), Derek wanted to go to the library and get some Chuck Palahniuk books with my card. He doesn't have one. So we drove over in his little rickety mexi-rally truck and turns out the Syracuse library didn't have any of the books so I put them on hold, to get sent from other libraries. Meanwhile I got three books that I'm not going to list here because I'm getting too bored. Derek got one too, but ditto on what it is. On the way back he goes "Oh I just tooted. I also farted in the library and it was loud and I think someone on the other row heard it." I just giggle and stick my head out the window when the little truck space gets stinky. He's such a charmer, thats why he has so many women all the time.
I'm going to wrap this up. Eventually we ended up at Sydney's house, lighting off fireworks (both legal and not) in her arena and then on the street. We taped some together and that was a good time.
Now I'm home, I have to mosquito bites, but I successfully dodged all june bugs. I hate june bugs, so so so much. They freak me out.
Something has been bothering me, however. I'd like to get it off my chest even though, technically, I'm not getting it off my chest to anyone.
People get too butt hurt and angry about stupid things. Like who invites you where, or tells you whats going on. See, various events and occasions go through various stages of planning. Some things are planned extensively and in advance. Others are spur of the moment and crazy and whatever. Its fun if you are involved with either, and you should be happy for that. However, worrying and obsessing over who told you or when you were told or how you were told or WHATEVER simply does not matter! Ok, if you were not invited and missed out on something cool, then you can feel sad and maybe talk to someone about it, yeah. That's understandable. But if something just randomly happens, and you hear about it last minute, DON'T be sad that no one told you earlier, or that you didn't hear about it from the direct source of the planning (because there often isn't any planning involved). I hope this is making sense, its all muddled and scattered in my brain. But honestly, if someone texts someone you're with about something, and its meant to be a big group plan, don't be sad that that person didn't text you. Get over it. You're still invited. Next time I'll be sure to send you a letter in the mail so you can work it into your schedule.
Whew, done.
Its stormy outside, yaay
CRAP GOTTA GO ROLL UP MY WINDOWS!
Most of this is just rambling about my day. If you'd like to skip to the venting, go ahead and skip to the bottom. :)
So I watched it today, for the second time. Only today was special because it was in IMAX. I went with Sarah and our little sisters (Katie and Chelsea). Cute sister date fun time. Anyway, we were all mislead at first in thinking IMAX was in 3D. Slightly disappointing, its just a huuuge screen, but it was still sweet and well worth it. Quite an entertaining drive up, the little sisters are crazies but we all laughed a lot.
Katie almost pooped her pants on the way back (yuck, right!)
Anyway, so even though it was the second time through, The Dark Knight still blows my mind. I can't even believe that movie, and all its glory. It is so insanely awesome I just feel like I need to throw up my insides every time I watch it so I can comprehend the sweetness. Ok, thats gross, but I mean it in the best possible way. I love how the joker is so creepy but sooo funny at the same time, I love that. Heath did an incredible job. When I start thinking about it, it just makes me so sad that he's gone, that TDK is his last complete movie. I just know that he wouldn't have ever stopped making incredible stuff; and man, with his role as the joker, what an incredible way to leave us. If his last role would've been something sucky (yeah right, I don't think he did any crappy work), it wouldn't be so memorable. I guess thats self explanatory though. Or maybe it would've, just because it was his last thing. I don't know, man. I just wish he hadn't died. Its so tragic. Poop.
Ok enough with sad stuff.
So then I came home from the movies, laid on the couch, and fell asleep cause I was so sleeeepy from the movie and the drive home. I don't really know why, probably because I have terrible sleeping habits for the summer. So then I woke up at seven, went to Young Womens, where we were doing service like cleaning church windows and pulling weeds. Neisha and I cleaned about two windows, then found some chalk and just ran from room to room writing nonsense on chalk boards and hiding from the little girls. We worked really hard.
When I came home, after only around 45 minutes (worked reeeaaaally hard), Derek wanted to go to the library and get some Chuck Palahniuk books with my card. He doesn't have one. So we drove over in his little rickety mexi-rally truck and turns out the Syracuse library didn't have any of the books so I put them on hold, to get sent from other libraries. Meanwhile I got three books that I'm not going to list here because I'm getting too bored. Derek got one too, but ditto on what it is. On the way back he goes "Oh I just tooted. I also farted in the library and it was loud and I think someone on the other row heard it." I just giggle and stick my head out the window when the little truck space gets stinky. He's such a charmer, thats why he has so many women all the time.
I'm going to wrap this up. Eventually we ended up at Sydney's house, lighting off fireworks (both legal and not) in her arena and then on the street. We taped some together and that was a good time.
Now I'm home, I have to mosquito bites, but I successfully dodged all june bugs. I hate june bugs, so so so much. They freak me out.
Something has been bothering me, however. I'd like to get it off my chest even though, technically, I'm not getting it off my chest to anyone.
People get too butt hurt and angry about stupid things. Like who invites you where, or tells you whats going on. See, various events and occasions go through various stages of planning. Some things are planned extensively and in advance. Others are spur of the moment and crazy and whatever. Its fun if you are involved with either, and you should be happy for that. However, worrying and obsessing over who told you or when you were told or how you were told or WHATEVER simply does not matter! Ok, if you were not invited and missed out on something cool, then you can feel sad and maybe talk to someone about it, yeah. That's understandable. But if something just randomly happens, and you hear about it last minute, DON'T be sad that no one told you earlier, or that you didn't hear about it from the direct source of the planning (because there often isn't any planning involved). I hope this is making sense, its all muddled and scattered in my brain. But honestly, if someone texts someone you're with about something, and its meant to be a big group plan, don't be sad that that person didn't text you. Get over it. You're still invited. Next time I'll be sure to send you a letter in the mail so you can work it into your schedule.
Whew, done.
Its stormy outside, yaay
CRAP GOTTA GO ROLL UP MY WINDOWS!
Friday, July 18, 2008
reptile!
My skin is so gross right now. Only my boob skin though, geez. All scaly and buttnasty from peeling and all that junk. I just want it to heal and be smooth and normal again.
So Andie got a job at Jamba with me! yaay. I work with her for two hours tonight. And I close tonight, agaaaiiin. No good. But at least I don't close tomorrow too. I want to go see the Dark Knight. Even though I didn't finish Batman Begins when I started watching it at Sarah's. Hopefully I won't be missing out on too much key information.
I just got off the phone with Janie like, four minutes ago. She was telling me all these stories of her man adventures, and the four marriage proposals she recieved last night. I got one today, but I think it is in spite of her hahah. What a stud that girl is.
My mom was trying to use all of the peanut butter because it was going to go bad and so she made these delicious muffins and then some good dinner last night and now she was going to make peanut butter bars, but she just barely ran out of peanut butter. So I told her to mash up peanuts and add butter (duh) and she told me she didn't have any peanuts, but with my logic baby food must be made of babies. I don't know why I didn't think of that earlier, but it makes perfect sense.
I need to go shower.
So Andie got a job at Jamba with me! yaay. I work with her for two hours tonight. And I close tonight, agaaaiiin. No good. But at least I don't close tomorrow too. I want to go see the Dark Knight. Even though I didn't finish Batman Begins when I started watching it at Sarah's. Hopefully I won't be missing out on too much key information.
I just got off the phone with Janie like, four minutes ago. She was telling me all these stories of her man adventures, and the four marriage proposals she recieved last night. I got one today, but I think it is in spite of her hahah. What a stud that girl is.
My mom was trying to use all of the peanut butter because it was going to go bad and so she made these delicious muffins and then some good dinner last night and now she was going to make peanut butter bars, but she just barely ran out of peanut butter. So I told her to mash up peanuts and add butter (duh) and she told me she didn't have any peanuts, but with my logic baby food must be made of babies. I don't know why I didn't think of that earlier, but it makes perfect sense.
I need to go shower.
Monday, July 14, 2008
Boob Crack
So I'm a white child. Not just caucasian, but extremely lacking in the content of melanin in my skin. I have been made highly aware of this from multiple intense sunburns over the years. ("and the fact that I'm a huge big fat ginger"- brother Derek who is reading over my shoulder and nagging that I hurry up to go to DI where he can buy a ten speed bike. The crazy.) This weekend some friends and I made a trip up to Bear Lake, staying on the Idaho side, and I came well equipped with both SPF 70 spray-on and SPF 50 lotion sunscreens.
However
Whatever
I'm bored with writing like I know how to write.
Long story short, the glorious glorious Bear Lake trip (which is nicely recapped on Sarah's blog- http://www.sporterrr.blogspot.com/) resulted in my boob crack being quite nicely sunburned along with other weird spots. Like my splotchy legs for one, or the stripe on my inner arm. What the balls? Inner arm sunburn? Ridicuolous.
I actually started this entry last night. But now I'm finishing it this night.
I closed at work tonight, with Laura and Mccall. Laura hates Mccall because she's lazy I guess, but I think Laura probably hated me too when I first started. Jamba Juice is intimidating at first because everything goes so fast and you never know what to do. So maybe Mccall will become the most incredible smoothie maker ever and Laura will love her and I won't ever have to deal with grumpy Laura closing again.
Or maybe not. I don't much care, ha!
Aeropostale shirts run too small. I hate that I even know to say that, because when I went into the store today with Mama Bear I thought I was going to explode and barf was going to come out of my ears, but I needed a new white polo for work. Only having one just wasn't cutting it. So I got a new one but I look like a nice chubby chub in it, stupid retarded sizing.
I'm wearing turtle earrings made out of coconuts. And I think these little bits are hemp pieces but I can't be sure. Anyway they are cute, Katie brought them back from Hawaii. Wearing earrings at work is fun because my hair is always pulled back so my ears are just like, hey hang decorations from me because I'm showing so much. Twofold. If ears could talk, I guess.
I realized today around nine thirty when I was getting ready to go apply for my passport that I haven't showered since Sunday when I got home from camping. This dirty fact made me giggle, along with the fact that I forgot I hadn't showered yesterday. I didn't even shower before work either. Dirty dirty. And I went to the mall with Mama Bear after, still unshowered, and tried on like thirteen billion dresses and got like twelve of them. OK more like.... seven of them. Or six. Or five. I honestly don't remember now but I did get a lot of dresses because of the cheap prices at Macy's and New York & Company. Even this sexy little black one that shows my boobies way too much and we have to figure out something to do about that. But I am a bombshell in it and will probably sink the ship when I wear it on the cruise.
I feel really lonely a lot lately and I honestly can't believe I'm writing that in this, but its true. I hope I'm not depressed, and its just normal mood swings. Because I'm having a lot of ups and downs.
I love to hang out with my brother. He is probably the funniest person I know.
I miss my friends.
I'm sooooo glad Mama Bear and Katie are home from Hawaii, a week gone is too long and I missed them way too much.
I think thats all. This is ridiculous. I wrote way too much nonsense to be healthy, and way too much to even approach interesting, and waaay too much that can be viewed by, well, anyone.
Oh well. I think this blog thing will be fun.
Oh, my boob crack sunburn is sprouting little bitty blisters, yuck!
Cheer up family/friends/cats/political giants
byee
However
Whatever
I'm bored with writing like I know how to write.
Long story short, the glorious glorious Bear Lake trip (which is nicely recapped on Sarah's blog- http://www.sporterrr.blogspot.com/) resulted in my boob crack being quite nicely sunburned along with other weird spots. Like my splotchy legs for one, or the stripe on my inner arm. What the balls? Inner arm sunburn? Ridicuolous.
I actually started this entry last night. But now I'm finishing it this night.
I closed at work tonight, with Laura and Mccall. Laura hates Mccall because she's lazy I guess, but I think Laura probably hated me too when I first started. Jamba Juice is intimidating at first because everything goes so fast and you never know what to do. So maybe Mccall will become the most incredible smoothie maker ever and Laura will love her and I won't ever have to deal with grumpy Laura closing again.
Or maybe not. I don't much care, ha!
Aeropostale shirts run too small. I hate that I even know to say that, because when I went into the store today with Mama Bear I thought I was going to explode and barf was going to come out of my ears, but I needed a new white polo for work. Only having one just wasn't cutting it. So I got a new one but I look like a nice chubby chub in it, stupid retarded sizing.
I'm wearing turtle earrings made out of coconuts. And I think these little bits are hemp pieces but I can't be sure. Anyway they are cute, Katie brought them back from Hawaii. Wearing earrings at work is fun because my hair is always pulled back so my ears are just like, hey hang decorations from me because I'm showing so much. Twofold. If ears could talk, I guess.
I realized today around nine thirty when I was getting ready to go apply for my passport that I haven't showered since Sunday when I got home from camping. This dirty fact made me giggle, along with the fact that I forgot I hadn't showered yesterday. I didn't even shower before work either. Dirty dirty. And I went to the mall with Mama Bear after, still unshowered, and tried on like thirteen billion dresses and got like twelve of them. OK more like.... seven of them. Or six. Or five. I honestly don't remember now but I did get a lot of dresses because of the cheap prices at Macy's and New York & Company. Even this sexy little black one that shows my boobies way too much and we have to figure out something to do about that. But I am a bombshell in it and will probably sink the ship when I wear it on the cruise.
I feel really lonely a lot lately and I honestly can't believe I'm writing that in this, but its true. I hope I'm not depressed, and its just normal mood swings. Because I'm having a lot of ups and downs.
I love to hang out with my brother. He is probably the funniest person I know.
I miss my friends.
I'm sooooo glad Mama Bear and Katie are home from Hawaii, a week gone is too long and I missed them way too much.
I think thats all. This is ridiculous. I wrote way too much nonsense to be healthy, and way too much to even approach interesting, and waaay too much that can be viewed by, well, anyone.
Oh well. I think this blog thing will be fun.
Oh, my boob crack sunburn is sprouting little bitty blisters, yuck!
Cheer up family/friends/cats/political giants
byee
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