I am such a sucker for earrings. And then, I will always lose one earring of my favorite pairs. How rude is that? It has happened twice now, I lost one of my handmade leather ones, and one of my bow ones from Urban. They were both awesome and adorable, take my word for it. It will probably happen again. I'm doomed. Anyway, Sarah was looking at wonderful turquoise rings (on here) and then I got to looking around for earrings and now I'm spending seventeen dollars on three pair. Thats with the shipping and everything, and thats probably not super thrifty but I love them and they love me back. Plus they're authentic Native American jewelry, so that counts for something, right?
I've done this in the past. but sometimes when I meet new groups of friends I get this weird empty ache in the middle of me. Seeing certain people interacting with such love, happiness, everything that seems desirable within friendships, sometimes makes me wish I could somehow sneak into the past and add myself into that lengthy friendship. I don't know if that makes sense. I don't want to abandon the friendships I have, not ever in a hundred million years. But maybe, if I could, I'd somehow make it possible for me to experience them all, but then that might just be overwhelming.
I don't know. Sometimes I feel like I'm just a hollow shell of a wasted person because there is so much more feeling that I could be experiencing, that I'm currently not. Or maybe my desire to feel such is adequately filling what I consider to be voids. Does everyone feel like this? Do normal people have these reactions to positive things like meeting new people? What even is a normal person? Sometimes my brain wraps itself into so many tiny, intertwining circles and twists and follows these contrived cycles that I don't even know whats going on inside or outside of me anymore.
Maybe I've imagined it all.
Last night I stayed up late for no good reason, except I was kinda waiting for Kandice to get home from babysitting. But mostly I was just wasting time. Anyway, so at about 12:28, Sydney starts wailing at me via Facebook, asking if I was just barely outside and saw the giant fireball that streaked across the sky. Naturally, I was inside because Logan weather is currently freezing and I live on the fourth floor.
Turns out, about seven minutes into today, this giant oven-sized bit of meteorite left over from the Leonids comet decided to plumet in the direction of our dear protective atmosphere. In the process, it was burnin' up more than the Jonas Brothers and happened to light up the whole sky green and blue and made Sydney curse and almost crash into a ditch. People flooded dispatch and news stations with calls that we were being bombed and whatnot, but turns out it was just a fantastical astronomical wonder!
And can I just say how extremely jealous I am that I missed it?! I can't believe it! I need to build a time machine and go back to last night and sit outside waiting for it. I would do some pretty unforgivable things to be able to witness it in real life. Videos are neat and all, but gosh I just wish I was outside at 12:07 last night. Poo.
The Walking Taco! I am in love. Melissa, in all her dear hearted loving glory hooked hooked Andie and I up today, introducing us to the now-beloved Walking Taco. To create your own:
1. Open a bag of fritos.
2. Dump in some meaty chili whatever goodness.
3. Add some sour cream/cheese/lettuce/tomatoes, etc.
4. Fork it and enjoy the wonderment.
Seriously, thought I was dying it was so divine. I can't believe I hadn't experienced this soon. Ah, the bountiful wonders of college life.
Here I sit, eating my applesauce and pretzels (we need to go grocery shopping), in my skirt and tights because I went to my final event for Creative Arts. In fact, I should be writing my paper for that but instead here I sit, chowing and blogging. Go me! Anyway, it was a concert for this bluegrass group, Cherryholmes. I was super cynical at first. To me, country and bluegrass are friendly neighbors, and let it be written that I am generally not a fan of country. Anyway, turns out it was amazing and I loved almost every second of it. For my paper I wish I could just rig up one of those singing Hallmark cards and turn that in: A+!
I got a letter from Jordan yesterday, that was super exciting. Hadn't heard from him in a couple weeks, turns out his letter was returned from lack of apartment number, which I think is my fault from accidentally omitting it from my return address. Woopsies! and Neil Brown is leaving for his mish tomorrow. Everyone is leaving! It is out of control and weirding me out to the max. I still feel too young for people my age to be leaving on missions. Even though I'll be 19 in less than a month and I'm almost halfway done with my freshman year of college. Ew still not used to that!
OH MY GOSH GUESS WHAT!
There is a song, Video Phone, by Beyonce featuring Lady Gaga! just like Halloween, its like we called it! I AM FREAKING OUT! Its a neat sounding song; rather sexual video but hey its Beyonce and Lady Gaga. Thats kinda how things go. Watch it!
I guess I am caps lock happy or something, but remember, children: caps lock is cruise control for cool.
Today on my enthralling drive to Logan, I decided to follow my kinda weird lasting urge to listen to Bright Eyes. For a couple days I have been feelin' Conor Oberst's crooning voice and storytelling lyrics, and I was happy when I finally indulged.
I like to drive home and back with a companion because time seems to speed up. However I also enjoy driving alone because I get to crank up my music to drown out my poorly sealed doors and the heater; and with the cranked up music comes my cranked up singing. When I sing while I drive, I like to pretend I know more about music than I actually do. I like to try to harmonize with whatever is playing- and while sometimes I maybe succeed a little, other times the result is completely horrendous. Precisely why I keep that little talent to myself.
When I drive alone I also like time I have to mull over anything and everything, my thoughts running wild, jagged circles in my head, roaming free via lack of conversation. It was within this exchange, while listening to the first song on I'm Wide Awake, It's Morning, "The Bottom of Everything", that I had a funny little thought.
The song starts out with narration of, among other things, a plane crash. Despite the dismal beginning, its rather catchy and upbeat. Listen to it.
Anyway (oooh noooo, another paragraph! will it ever cease?! answer: no), I was thinking. I don't think a plane crash would be the worst way to die. I mean, think about it. You were already going on (or coming home from) a trip, so you've likely said goodbye or at least talked to some or all of your loved ones. I imagine, from the fiery inferno that generally makes up movie plane crashes, your death would be close to immediate. And then, even though everyone would probably be pretty panicky, at least you wouldn't be alone. At least when you got to the other side, you'd have this big crowd of people with you, so you'd all be lost together like, "what? go towards the light? okay well that seems pretty wise..." and then maybe you'd all become heavenly friends. In the song, the guy at the beginning seems to become this instant friend of the girl thats panicking, and I just think that would be a comfort, to have someone like that next to you, even if they were a complete stranger. Like I said, better than being alone.
I don't know. The general notion of dying doesn't seem very appealing at all until you're old and decrepit and tired of life. And it seems nearly every method of dying would suck to a certain degree.
I know I'm not about to go out and rate them.
maybe this post should've had some sort of disclaimer? WARNING: morbidity ensues.
I do this weird thing where I get all attached to characters in (well-written) books and then when I finish I'm all depressed and missing my new friends. So I miss Henry and Clare and Gomez and Charisse and everyone because, as earlier stated, I completed my mission of finishing my book. It was very very good, I loved the story and the way it was written and everything. It made me feel pretty near the entire scope of human emotion.
We made cookies! Kandice and I made sugar cookies from scratch and they were quite delicious- despite their strikingly pancake-y appearance. We then proceeded to take them around to some apartments in our buildings (but only boy apartments, he he) and made a couple new friends. So thats why there are only five left. Andie went home for the basketball game but I saved her some in a little baggy because I am a good friend.
I fell on invisible ice in front of a lot of people today, but I don't feel as bad because I remembered today is Friday the 13th so it was just meant to happen, okay?
I'm about 37 pages from the end, and I'm at that weird limbo between wanting to finish it like a mad woman and hoping it won't ever be over. Even though I watched the movie first (for shame) and I already know how it ends- for the most part. The novel has resulted in plenty of differences from the film, with tons of more lush details and exciting character development. So what if I'm in love with Henry, okay? Judge me.
I had two tests so today I was in sweats and a thermal- and a french braid. Be jealous. And then it rained on my head, but I got a coat on before it snowed. Go meeee.
So I was up till 3 last night (this morning?) studying with Brian/waiting up for Kandice, so I was extra exhausted today, but I had to stay up until four thirty ish because of classes and a meeting, but then I crashed at five. I was sleeping pretty lightly at first, I kept waking up when Andie would come in the room and I heard Lacie come over and everything was swell. Then I wake up, feel that my bra is on, and I'm like what the hell I don't sleep with my bra on! But then I realized that it was not in fact the middle of the night but around eight forty five and my darling roommates had not woken me for our shows. For a bit there I was disoriented and kind of pissed, until I came into the living room and it was quiet and no one was to be found. Turns out Andie and Kandice were cleaning some guys house, so I ate some pizza I found and bonded with Valerie for a bit until they came home.
Anyway, since waking up I can't seem to shake that disoriented sleep feeling. I guess its good, since I'll still be able to fall back asleep, but its weird. Even after spending the evening in a full living room with neighbors and visiting straights and gays and pwning on 007 (or apartment was uncannily lively this evening) I still feel kind of crooked and dreamy.
Watch, I'm going to start this off all poetically, and then I'm going to pull a swift one-eighty and be all pissed off. Prepare to be amazed.
Autumn has magically paused itself for a week's moment, despite the snow last week and the forboding forecast ahead. However, the general pace of the season seems locked in a sprint toward antarctic winter, and with Logan Canyon winter winds comes crowded campus shuttles. People seem to be innately aware of the looming winter, and the buses continue to fill to greater capacities, even on the nicest of days.
Now, some background. I'm not crazy intolerant of Public Displays of Affection. I mean, with some limits. But a hug here, holding hands there, and even kisses within public view just isn't that huge of a deal to me. However: the point of this entire post is this: do NOT publicly display your affection within three inches of me on the crowded and enclosed space of the bus. ESPECIALLY when your arm, attatchd to the hand delicately stroking your sweetie's shoulder, is RUBBING AGAINST MY ARM. Honestly? Kissing and using up my air to make those repulsive smooching noises? Whispering sweet nothings into your significant others' and MY ear?! HAVE SOME SHAME! Gosh this happened last week and it still creeps me out and makes me shudder when I think about it. The nerve!
I need a nap.
and to grocery shop.
and to study, eeew
if your life is better than mine? It probably isn't. Okay? Gosh.
And what the hell is up with Parental Control? Honestly, MTV? Scripted up the hizang. Oh well, I was vacuuming anyway, so that drowned out enough of the noise. We're having either pizza or taco soup tonight. And maybe going to the gym. Holler.
I need to go grocery shopping.
Halloween was rather...uneventful. Sarah and I both looked the shit, only to spend the entire evening at her house, not counting the Wendy's run. Divaz with cabin fever. Since when are there absolutely no parties to be found on Halloween? I was even willing to sacrifice my high standards of entertainment for a party full of drunk hussies. But no, even after interrogating nearly half my phone book, we spent the night dressed up at home. Next year: the Howl f'sho.
However we did look spectacular. Pictures to come.