I've done this in the past. but sometimes when I meet new groups of friends I get this weird empty ache in the middle of me. Seeing certain people interacting with such love, happiness, everything that seems desirable within friendships, sometimes makes me wish I could somehow sneak into the past and add myself into that lengthy friendship. I don't know if that makes sense. I don't want to abandon the friendships I have, not ever in a hundred million years. But maybe, if I could, I'd somehow make it possible for me to experience them all, but then that might just be overwhelming.
I don't know. Sometimes I feel like I'm just a hollow shell of a wasted person because there is so much more feeling that I could be experiencing, that I'm currently not. Or maybe my desire to feel such is adequately filling what I consider to be voids. Does everyone feel like this? Do normal people have these reactions to positive things like meeting new people? What even is a normal person? Sometimes my brain wraps itself into so many tiny, intertwining circles and twists and follows these contrived cycles that I don't even know whats going on inside or outside of me anymore.
Maybe I've imagined it all.
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1 comment:
I feel like that a lot. And from meeting lots of new groups of friends, I've found the feelings of inadequacy ARE the norm, people are just really good at hiding them.
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