for Mom

so for Christmas I made my mom a crafty little ribbon lanyard keychain deal, which sounds extra lame, and definitely raises the question: why would she cry over that?  The answer is I paired it with this poem.  It's quite wonderful and hilarious and precious and genius, and I am glad she enjoyed it so thoroughly.  I wish I could have bottled up the moment she opened it and read the poem, it was the cutest thing in the whole world, which makes sense coming from the cutest mom in the whold world.  The end.

Merry Christmas, old boy

I feel as though the holidays definitely snuck up on me this year.  I mean, Christmas is almost over and I still feel as though it isn't here yet.  Odd.
Anywho, it was a swell Christmas.  Can I just say how much I love my family?  All of them.  I mean, of course you're going to be bothered by your family once in a very long while (ha) but I really am so lucky to have such a splendid bunch of relatives, immediate and otherwise.  They are all so loving and hilarious and fun to be with.  And of course I have the cutest nieces and nephews in existence.

As far as gifts, I recieved a modest truckload of clothes, accessories, and entertainment sources.  All quite enjoyable and lovely, though not to be outdone by a tiny ceramic frog (Derek) and a pair of painted metal horse figurines to decorate the dorm room (Mom).  I made Mom cry with my very touching gift- a lanyard/keychain accompanied by a great Billy Collins peom.  More on that later.

So then we upheld our new (since last year) tradition of going to a movie on Christmas day.  This year?  Why, Sherlock Holmes of course.  To sum up the entire experience I am just going to restate what I told Sarah: 

"Just wear a hat when you go see Sherlock Holmes, so that the bits of your blown mind don't get all over everyone around you."

win/win/win/fin

p.s. is it conceited to put quotes around something that I said?

he's perfect.

helloooooooooo beautiful!  I really think we would be just perfect for each other.  A girl can dream, okay?

Lava tomorrow, now I must sleep!

truer words ne'er spoken

New Favorite Meme

behooold, the Kanye interruptor!
i.e.

 

If you do not understand the hilarity of these, you are sorely missing out.  Okay I am really going to sleep now.  really. ....maybe.

PRISENTS!

Since they have already been recieved and the spoiler risk is now eliminated, I am now going to brag about the excellent gifts I gave to two friends.

for Sarah, from Santa:

the Avenging Narwhal Playset!!!!! um, can we say BEST GIFT EVER?!  really though, its perfect.  first of all, Sarah and I about peed ourselves on that fateful night that we discovered the very beautiful and tangible reality of narwhals.  also, the Avenging Narwhal Playset comes with four magical tusks and three adorable mortal enemies to spear (koala, penguin, and snow seal of course).  Magically violent fun, it really does not get any better.  take my word for it, kiddles.

for Andie, from Santa:

Dundler Mifflin Paper Co. t-shirt!  YES!  except she is of course a lady and will look much more like a lady in this shirt than the above non-lady.  I am very happy about this one as well, because Andie has a vast love for The Office and neat shirts.  Who doesn't?  If you answered "me", then we probably cannot be friends.  I apologize.  I think I will get her the Schrute Beet Farms shirt for her birthday, we shall see.


and also I just want to brag about the very neat gift I recieved for my birthday from my dear brother and his insatiably wonderful wife (no I don't just say that because you might read this, Ashlie.  Gosh, who do you think I am?) and their little baby:

"i read banned books" bracelet
I love it!  SO MUCH!















Good crap am I still awake?  at this ungodly hour?  sheesh.
p.s. prisents = presents with a Kiwi accent, of course.

Happy Birthday to me!

okay, well yesterday, technically.  Also I found out Jennifer Connelly shares my birthday which is neat because I lovelovelove her.

So my birthday party was so fun.  It was a fancy black/white dress up party and Jan was cute to offer her house so Sarah hosted.  We had fun little snacks (hors d'eourves? what?) thanks to my dear mommy, the patron saint of motherhood, and streamers and played and sang and danced to Lady Gaga and Bonnie Tyler.  Jan made delicious punch and Rachel made a glorious wonderfully beautiful cake (pictures later maybe?).

I got lots of nice things which was nice of my friends.  Not very many people dressed up and some didn't even show, so I was kind of worried about everything working out at first.  But then, everyone who I loved was there and it was fun and I just decided to forget about it all.  Doing so worked out perfectly, as the evening was perfect and I wouldn't have changed a thing.

Oh also I went sledding and wore myself out somethin' fierce.

Tomorrow is my family birthday party.  Does it count if I make different wishes for the different cakes?  Oh well, I'm doing it anyway.  I am very excited to see all of my cute family, I have missed them.  I want to hold Hollie all day.

In closing, a rather pretty thought from the wonderfully perfect gift that BFF Spag picked out:

"And crawling, on the planet's face, some insects, called the human race. Lost in time, and lost in space... and meaning."

(The Criminologist, Rocky Horror Picture Show)

sleep, that winged beast, beckons.

a thought on (in)significance

there's a nifty little function on blogger that can be viewed on the top toolbar.  It features the words "next blog" and directs you to just that, viewing the blog that has somehow been positioned next to mine for the moment.  I was clicking that button out of sheer boredom while Southpark reacted shrilly in the background, and I happened across several blogs, all of quite incredible degrees of variation.  With each click to the algorithmically aligned "next blog" I began to feel smaller and smaller. 
I am just one tiny college student's ramblings in the millions of poetry and cooking blogs, thriving like all the rest in the vain hope that maybe, somehow, more people will be blindly lead to my ridiculous collection of words and ideas and find some sort of value in it, be it entertainment or mindless reading or maybe a grain of enlightenment.  And the very worst part of it all?  Even while I recognize the very nature of my demise into the painful vanity and feeble hope that someday I might have a whisper of an audience, I continue to write entries like this one, entries intended for more than mine own eyes.  Even while I come to terms with how pathetic it all is, the vanity gains momentum and the hope becomes less feeble, though still laced with desperation.

More wisdom

from the mind of ever-brilliant John Green.

"Hearts can be broken from a great distance."

just a teeny little segment from a hilarious and enlightening survey post.  Waaaay back in December of '06.  Also waaaay before John Green himself broke my heart from afar by being married and sufficiently older than me.  Okay so that ridiculously pathetic pining I once held (not that long ago) for Mr. Green has now settled into more of a respectful admiration for his work and person.  I'm trying desperately not to come off as creepy.

...I'm not creepy!

I'm on a mission!

Though two of my finals are on Tuesday, and I have yet to begin studying, I am on a mission to read all of John Green's blog.  I figure he's a smart dude (a genius, but whatever) so it's not copmletely mindless reading.  I mean, my brain is being somewhat expanded.  It is interesting to view his progression as his books gained more momentum, and even just to peek into his head. 
I mean, I'm probably biased (okay, super biased) but he really is so brilliant.  I mean, just read this:

“…physical intimacy can never stand in for emotional closeness, and that when teenagers attempt to conflate these ideas it inevitably fails.”

also, while not displayed in this quotation, his extreme hilarity does not hurt that brilliance.  Maybe it's just me, but I believe intellect and humor are very snuggly neighbors.  Also, both are super attractive.  just sayin'.
anyway, read John's books, it's a good investment.  For real.

I love

HIMYM

wooo NPH!

wowZa

"Right now I percieve you to be an indestructible beacon of joy."

Excellent!

Oh my heavens, I adore Wayne's World.   I guess sometimes I kind of forget how hilarious it is until I watch it again.  It gets me every time, I swear the movie in its glorious entirety hasn't gotten old, and it never will.  Ever.

Wayne: She's a fox. In French she would be called "la renarde" and she would be hunted with only her cunning to protect her.
Garth: She's a babe.
Wayne: She's a robo-babe. In Latin she would be called "babia majora".
Garth: If she were a president she would be Baberaham Lincoln.

That will be the day that I am too old, when Wayne's World has ceased to ensue hilarity when I watch it.  I will have to sit down in front of a mirror and ask myself, "exsqueeze me, are you mental?"

pretty

“I hate the way you talk to me, and the way you cut your hair. I hate the way you drive my car. I hate it when you stare. I hate your big dumb combat boots, and the way you read my mind. I hate you so much it makes me sick; it even makes me rhyme. I hate it, I hate the way you’re always right. I hate it when you lie. I hate it when you make me laugh, even worse when you make me cry. I hate it when you’re not around, and the fact that you didn’t call. But mostly I hate the way I don’t hate you. Not even close, not even a little bit, not even at all.”

(10 Things I Hate About You)

Cafe Rio > Costa Vida

just sayin'

P.S.

ish TASTY!

if only

Say Anything with 30 Seconds to Mars is happening right now.

LOOK AT THAT FACE!  I wish I was there.
however!  I am experiencing it via phone call (better than not at all) because I have the best best friend around.

I don't know if you were aware,

but just because a person is gay does not make them any less of a person and more of an accessory.  Get over it.  I am so tired of people treating homosexuality like it's a novelty. 
PEOPLE ARE PEOPLE.

Also, gay isn't contagious.  Stop freaking out.
/end rant

P.S.

hahahaha

I have a problem.

I am such a sucker for earrings.  And then, I will always lose one earring of my favorite pairs.  How rude is that?  It has happened twice now, I lost one of my handmade leather ones, and one of my bow ones from Urban.  They were both awesome and adorable, take my word for it.  It will probably happen again.  I'm doomed.  Anyway, Sarah was looking at wonderful turquoise rings (on here) and then I got to looking around for earrings and now I'm spending seventeen dollars on three pair.  Thats with the shipping and everything, and thats probably not super thrifty but I love them and they love me back.  Plus they're authentic Native American jewelry, so that counts for something, right?

Show and tell, now!

I'm exciiiited!

Chaos, cycles

I've done this in the past. but sometimes when I meet new groups of friends I get this weird empty ache in the middle of me.  Seeing certain people interacting with such love, happiness, everything that seems desirable within friendships, sometimes makes me wish I could somehow sneak into the past and add myself into that lengthy friendship.  I don't know if that makes sense.  I don't want to abandon the friendships I have, not ever in a hundred million years.  But maybe, if I could, I'd somehow make it possible for me to experience them all, but then that might just be overwhelming.

I don't know.  Sometimes I feel like I'm just a hollow shell of a wasted person because there is so much more feeling that I could be experiencing, that I'm currently not.  Or maybe my desire to feel such is adequately filling what I consider to be voids.  Does everyone feel like this?  Do normal people have these reactions to positive things like meeting new people?  What even is a normal person?  Sometimes my brain wraps itself into so many tiny, intertwining circles and twists and follows these contrived cycles that I don't even know whats going on inside or outside of me anymore. 
Maybe I've imagined it all.

gosh

I really do have a respectable level of self-esteem, but I'd trade faces with her so fast.

is it really okay for someone to be that beautiful and that talented?  AND have dated Ryan Gosling?  Really?

dinosaur comics

This world would be a dark and lonely place without them.
http://www.qwantz.com/

do not take this lightly.

I'm kinda sad.

Last night I stayed up late for no good reason, except I was kinda waiting for Kandice to get home from babysitting.  But mostly I was just wasting time.  Anyway, so at about 12:28, Sydney starts wailing at me via Facebook, asking if I was just barely outside and saw the giant fireball that streaked across the sky.  Naturally, I was inside because Logan weather is currently freezing and I live on the fourth floor.

Turns out, about seven minutes into today, this giant oven-sized bit of meteorite left over from the Leonids comet decided to plumet in the direction of our dear protective atmosphere.  In the process, it was burnin' up more than the Jonas Brothers and happened to light up the whole sky green and blue and made Sydney curse and almost crash into a ditch.  People flooded dispatch and news stations with calls that we were being bombed and whatnot, but turns out it was just a fantastical astronomical wonder!

And can I just say how extremely jealous I am that I missed it?!  I can't believe it!  I need to build a time machine and go back to last night and sit outside waiting for it.  I would do some pretty unforgivable things to be able to witness it in real life.  Videos are neat and all, but gosh I just wish I was outside at 12:07 last night.  Poo.

BEHOLD!

The Walking Taco!  I am in love.  Melissa, in all her dear hearted loving glory hooked hooked Andie and I up today, introducing us to the now-beloved Walking Taco.  To create your own:

1. Open a bag of fritos.

2. Dump in some meaty chili whatever goodness.

3. Add some sour cream/cheese/lettuce/tomatoes, etc.

4. Fork it and enjoy the wonderment.

Seriously, thought I was dying it was so divine.  I can't believe I hadn't experienced this soon.  Ah, the bountiful wonders of college life.

Here I sit, eating my applesauce and pretzels (we need to go grocery shopping), in my skirt and tights because I went to my final event for Creative Arts.  In fact, I should be writing my paper for that but instead here I sit, chowing and blogging.  Go me!  Anyway, it was a concert for this bluegrass group, Cherryholmes.  I was super cynical at first.  To me, country and bluegrass are friendly neighbors, and let it be written that I am generally not a fan of country.  Anyway, turns out it was amazing and I loved almost every second of it.  For my paper I wish I could just rig up one of those singing Hallmark cards and turn that in:  A+!

I got a letter from Jordan yesterday, that was super exciting.  Hadn't heard from him in a couple weeks, turns out his letter was returned from lack of apartment number, which I think is my fault from accidentally omitting it from my return address.  Woopsies!  and Neil Brown is leaving for his mish tomorrow.  Everyone is leaving!  It is out of control and weirding me out to the max.  I still feel too young for people my age to be leaving on missions.  Even though I'll be 19 in less than a month and I'm almost halfway done with my freshman year of college.  Ew still not used to that!

OH MY GOSH GUESS WHAT!

There is a song, Video Phone, by Beyonce featuring Lady Gaga!  just like Halloween, its like we called it!  I AM FREAKING OUT! Its a neat sounding song; rather sexual video but hey its Beyonce and Lady Gaga.  Thats kinda how things go.  Watch it!

I guess I am caps lock happy or something, but remember, children: caps lock is cruise control for cool.

Hi, I'm Noelle,

and I think Twitter is worthless and stupid.

On an entirely different note, isn't this photo neat?  I think it's so beautiful.

Express Everything by Just Paige

/fin

Turn around, Bright Eyes

Today on my enthralling drive to Logan, I decided to follow my kinda weird lasting urge to listen to Bright Eyes.  For a couple days I have been feelin' Conor Oberst's crooning voice and storytelling lyrics, and I was happy when I finally indulged. 

I like to drive home and back with a companion because time seems to speed up.  However I also enjoy driving alone because I get to crank up my music to drown out my poorly sealed doors and the heater; and with the cranked up music comes my cranked up singing.  When I sing while I drive, I like to pretend I know more about music than I actually do.  I like to try to harmonize with whatever is playing- and while sometimes I maybe succeed a little, other times the result is completely horrendous.  Precisely why I keep that little talent to myself.

When I drive alone I also like time I have to mull over anything and everything, my thoughts running wild, jagged circles in my head, roaming free via lack of conversation.  It was within this exchange, while listening to the first song on I'm Wide Awake, It's Morning, "The Bottom of Everything", that I had a funny little thought.

The song starts out with narration of, among other things, a plane crash.  Despite the dismal beginning, its rather catchy and upbeat.  Listen to it.

Anyway (oooh noooo, another paragraph!  will it ever cease?! answer: no), I was thinking.  I don't think a plane crash would be the worst way to die.  I mean, think about it.  You were already going on (or coming home from) a trip, so you've likely said goodbye or at least talked to some or all of your loved ones.  I imagine, from the fiery inferno that generally makes up movie plane crashes, your death would be close to immediate.  And then, even though everyone would probably be pretty panicky, at least you wouldn't be alone.  At least when you got to the other side, you'd have this big crowd of people with you, so you'd all be lost together like, "what? go towards the light? okay well that seems pretty wise..." and then maybe you'd all become heavenly friends.  In the song, the guy at the beginning seems to become this instant friend of the girl thats panicking, and I just think that would be a comfort, to have someone like that next to you, even if they were a complete stranger.  Like I said, better than being alone.

I don't know.  The general notion of dying doesn't seem very appealing at all until you're old and decrepit and tired of life.  And it seems nearly every method of dying would suck to a certain degree.

I know I'm not about to go out and rate them.

maybe this post should've had some sort of disclaimer?  WARNING: morbidity ensues.

I miss Henry!

I do this weird thing where I get all attached to characters in (well-written) books and then when I finish I'm all depressed and missing my new friends.  So I miss Henry and Clare and Gomez and Charisse and everyone because, as earlier stated, I completed my mission of finishing my book.  It was very very good, I loved the story and the way it was written and everything.  It made me feel pretty near the entire scope of human emotion.

We made cookies!  Kandice and I made sugar cookies from scratch and they were quite delicious- despite their strikingly pancake-y appearance.  We then proceeded to take them around to some apartments in our buildings (but only boy apartments, he he) and made a couple new friends.  So thats why there are only five left.  Andie went home for the basketball game but I saved her some in a little baggy because I am a good friend.

I fell on invisible ice in front of a lot of people today, but I don't feel as bad because I remembered today is Friday the 13th so it was just meant to happen, okay?

readin'

I'm about 37 pages from the end, and I'm at that weird limbo between wanting to finish it like a mad woman and hoping it won't ever be over.  Even though I watched the movie first (for shame) and I already know how it ends- for the most part.  The novel has resulted in plenty of differences from the film, with tons of more lush details and exciting character development.  So what if I'm in love with Henry, okay?  Judge me.

Okay I have to go finish it now.

Don't watch porn.

It will rot your soul.  Just sayin'.

It snowed today.  Woo.

I had two tests so today I was in sweats and a thermal- and a french braid.  Be jealous.  And then it rained on my head, but I got a coat on before it snowed.  Go meeee.

So I was up till 3 last night (this morning?) studying with Brian/waiting up for Kandice, so I was extra exhausted today, but I had to stay up until four thirty ish because of classes and a meeting, but then I crashed at five.  I was sleeping pretty lightly at first, I kept waking up when Andie would come in the room and I heard Lacie come over and everything was swell.  Then I wake up, feel that my bra is on, and I'm like what the hell I don't sleep with my bra on!  But then I realized that it was not in fact the middle of the night but around eight forty five and my darling roommates had not woken me for our shows.  For a bit there I was disoriented and kind of pissed, until I came into the living room and it was quiet and no one was to be found.  Turns out Andie and Kandice were cleaning some guys house, so I ate some pizza I found and bonded with Valerie for a bit until they came home.

Anyway, since waking up I can't seem to shake that disoriented sleep feeling.  I guess its good, since I'll still be able to fall back asleep, but its weird.  Even after spending the evening in a full living room with neighbors and visiting straights and gays and pwning on 007 (or apartment was uncannily lively this evening) I still feel kind of crooked and dreamy.

 SPEAKING OF DREAMY!

rantz

Watch, I'm going to start this off all poetically, and then I'm going to pull a swift one-eighty and be all pissed off.  Prepare to be amazed.

Autumn has magically paused itself for a week's moment, despite the snow last week and the forboding forecast ahead.  However, the general pace of the season seems locked in a sprint toward antarctic winter, and with Logan Canyon winter winds comes crowded campus shuttles.  People seem to be innately aware of the looming winter, and the buses continue to fill to greater capacities, even on the nicest of days.

Now, some background.  I'm not crazy intolerant of Public Displays of Affection.  I mean, with some limits.  But a hug here, holding hands there, and even kisses within public view just isn't that huge of a deal to me.  However: the point of this entire post is this:  do NOT publicly display your affection within three inches of me on the crowded and enclosed space of the bus.  ESPECIALLY when your arm, attatchd to the hand delicately stroking your sweetie's shoulder, is RUBBING AGAINST MY ARM.  Honestly?  Kissing and using up my air to make those repulsive smooching noises?  Whispering sweet nothings into your significant others' and MY ear?!  HAVE SOME SHAME!  Gosh this happened last week and it still creeps me out and makes me shudder when I think about it.  The nerve!
I need a nap.
and to grocery shop.
and to study, eeew

are you kidding me?

T-Shaw was such an insincere tool.  Tyler DEFINITELY deserved to win.  I am mad at you, Tool Academy.

for future reference

maybe later hair

Corie Howell

registration, you will be the death of me.

So what

if your life is better than mine?  It probably isn't.  Okay?  Gosh.
And what the hell is up with Parental Control?  Honestly, MTV?  Scripted up the hizang.  Oh well, I was vacuuming anyway, so that drowned out enough of the noise.  We're having either pizza or taco soup tonight.  And maybe going to the gym.  Holler.
I need to go grocery shopping.

All Hallow's Eve

Halloween was rather...uneventful.  Sarah and I both looked the shit, only to spend the entire evening at her house, not counting the Wendy's run.  Divaz with cabin fever.  Since when are there absolutely no parties to be found on Halloween?  I was even willing to sacrifice my high standards of entertainment for a party full of drunk hussies.  But no, even after interrogating nearly half my phone book, we spent the night dressed up at home.  Next year:  the Howl f'sho.

However we did look spectacular.  Pictures to come.

Happy daylight savings.  FALL BACK!



(edit) promised pictures:

be jealous!

just for the record

Sarah is growing her hair out to this or she owes me $50

Snow

Its still everywhere.  Walking under trees is a precarious move, as the snow will sprinkle and occasionally dump on your head, breaking through the leaves that continue to hold on.  Some trees are dropping leaves and patches of snow so quickly its like a little tiny storm is going on just underneath them, tree-dodging is somewhat necessary.

This is the giant pine tree outside our apartment after yesterday's snowfall.  I was napping, and when I woke up everything was covered.  At least its pretty!

So I've recently come to the oft-visited conclusion that I'm weird as shit.  There's this weird balance of learning who I really am versus who I'd like to be, which is constantly changing.  I think.  I don't know, I feel like I'm in a rather floater stage, which isn't necessarily a bad thing.  I'll just ride it out, maybe live in some books, everything always ends up okay in the end.

I'm watching Rob & Big, and Big was just changing the diaper of a little fake baby.  "You smell like poopie, you smell like poopie!" awwwh.

All the single ladies?

I am really excited for Halloween. I will be dressed like so:

We can pretend that I'll look equally hot in my ensemble and that my ass won't be all over the place.  Ain't no thing, its Halloween!  All diva-d out, as my best friend will be dressed as Lady Gaga.

It snowed today.  It was pretty, but I am kind of sad.  I love fall, and now if its going to snow constantly until next March, I'm going to be extra fall-hungry.  Maybe this is just a little taste of what winter holds, so I'll still get a bit of fall weather.  Thats likely just my optimism leaking through, however.

I am so sick of people just writing me off as a prude.  I know more than you give me credit for, bitches.

Alexander Skarsgard

is love.  He is so beautiful, its ridiculous.  I recently decided if I'm ever having a sad bit I'll just reflect on the attractiveness of Alexander Skarsgard and then everything will be okay.  It works!

I went to the art museum on campus today for a choice event for my ridiculous creative arts class.  I loved it!  I was not aware the campus facility was going to have that neat of an art collection.  There was such a huge variety of art, just all kinds.  I don't even know if I could pick a favorite, but it was probably one of the massive canvases that I wanted to steal and take home with me.  Maybe more on them later.

I wish I could paint.  I think I'll take a class one day, maybe when I'm old and frail and have nothing better to do.  Hopefully I don't get arthritis in my fingers to prevent my plan from taking hold.

It is fall, and I love it.  I will just walk through all the piles of leaves and kick them everywhere, and smell the air because it smells crisp and leafy and its cold but not freezing, so its just fun outside except for when it rains on my head or winds through my clothing.
I can't seem to find my gray wool sweater!  This is a problem.

"How will I ever get out of this labyrinth!"

Oh John Green, you giant genius, you.  Please come to Utah so I may bask in your intellectual glory and thank you for your profound hilarity.
I'm re-reading Looking for Alaska and I just forget how much I adore it.  Except I just dipped into the "after" section and now I'm paused to soak it all in.  Meanwhile I'm supposed to be reading my mass media textbook and I'm in the middle (well the middle of the beginning) of The Picture of Dorian Gray, for the first time, and its quite interesting.  I'm worthless once a book sucks me in, completely worthless.

The internet sometimes overwhelms me a lot.  Like I fell out of watching my youtube subscriptions but since I'm reading John Green once more I thought I'd peep his latest video, and then there are all these vlogbrothers videos that I'm completely out of the loop on, and then all these blog posts on sparksflyup that I'm hopelessly out of touch with, and then I just feel overwhelmed and just hope that one day I can be grownup and know who I am soundly and have my blog or book or story that all these people keep up with.
I don't know, mostly I just hope I can write a book one day that is as incredible as Looking for Alaska or Paper Towns or even a tiny bit close.  Scary intimidating thoughts.
/giant run-on sentence

John Green is working on new stuff, which I'm extra excited about, and in April a book he wrote with David Levithian (sp?) is coming out and I'm feeling like "woowob)Oo" or close to that.

I ate too much garlic bread, blech.
Sarah is in San Fran and I wish I was theeeerrreeeeee

oh, I changed my wallpaper:

I am extra pleased about this.

Woopsies

So maybe I was a little conceited when I was all "Oh 50 books challenge? Pshaaaww" because thing is, I sort of stopped keeping track of the books I read. And the end of the year is ever nearing. I'm sure I could easily top the challenge of a simple 50 books in one year, especially when I'm a psycho in the summer and reading everything I lay my eyes on, but keeping track of them is a different story.
One book I can easily track and would like to discuss via myself and blog was The Book Thief by Marcus Zusak. Definitely one of my top ten books, if it would even be possible for me to narrow them down to ten. This novel is remarkable in every single way. The narration, story line, characters, dialogue- every tiny individual piece of it is amazing, and when they're all combined, they form this unheard of story that teaches of relationships, life, happiness, everything. I cried in happiness and sadness, and I certainly did not want it to end. I wanted to keep in touch with Liesel and Rudy and Max and Papa, they were some of the most real and touching characters I've ever read. All I can aspire is to one day be able to create something that could vaguely approach the level of impact this book had and will continue to have for me.

My Uncle Pete died today. He was in a bad motorcycle accident yesterday and landed on his head. It didn't look good from the start. We prayed and prayed, but I guess he was needed impossibly more elsewhere. I'll miss him forever, we lost him too soon. Everyone is still numb, it doesn't feel real at all. I don't know when it will.
The weirdly comforting part of it all is that he was an organ donor, and with his heart and kidneys he'll save three people. That is so incredible to me, he is just the guy that would go out while saving three people.
I've been thinking about that. I think now I'm going to start looking for the three good things that come from every bad thing. Its like my history professor says, everything happens in threes.

So I'm home from school for now, which is going pretty well. I like it a lot for the most part, but for right now its good to be home.

My kids are never getting motorcycles, thats for sure. I need some sleep.

Beach House Cottage

I'm currently residing in Mission Beach, CA in a beautiful little tiny beach bungalow.  I am here with four of my very closest friends on our senior trip, and I don't ever want to go home.  It is so beautiful.  I love the ocean to begin with.  I love the smell, the feel, the sound, even the sticky humidity that completely envelopes me.  I love this house, it's perfect.  I want to live here for forever.  We are literally probably twenty steps from the bay, and maybe forty from the beach.  We are going to the beach tomorrow.  Everyone is so chill and there are countless hot men!  Today at the bay we met this adorable little girl named Sophie who really wanted to just swim naked.  She is three years old and has a mop of white blonde curly hair, she's just adorable.

Okay, so this thing happened the other day that I sort of feel I should record somewhere, and this is as good as anywhere.  I have seen dead bodies before.  People at funerals, animals on the side of the road, etc.  We have this semicircle window above a large rectangle one in our living room.  There is a tree that overhangs the semicircle bit, and the fat robins that always gorge themselves on our cherries often get quite confused by the reflection of the tree on the window.  They fly directly into it quite often.  I was home alone and watching TV or something, and a bird flew into the window insanely hard, the frame shook.  I was shocked, I've never heard a bird hit that hard before.  I went to look out the window to see if the bird had already made it's dizzy escape.  But there was the bird.   And it wasn't just sitting there, it was trying to fly away, but in a gimpy way.  Like one wing was completely dysfunctional.  It would hop in tiny circles, until it gave up.  I went outside and sat there next to the bird as it died.  I don't really know why I did it, I just couldn't really walk away knowing that bird was dying alone.  Robins are stupid, I don't know why I cared so much, but watching that bird die was probably one of the very saddest things I have ever seen.  I've never actually seen anything go from living to not, and it was violent and shocking.

Wow now that I'm done with that downer moment, I kind of want to go back to the bay and look that the stars for the bit.  Maybe!  I like you California, you're one of the good ones.

senior pictures whaaat

Sarah took them for me today! I get to see them tomorrow, and I'm very excited.
She's going to be pro, I just know it, and if she forgets me when she's famous, there will be hell to pay. :)
Really though, despite how I am akward and despite that I brought a small-family-sized bag full of clothes, she was super patient and great and I do believe the results will be pretty great.
I will probably post some? Maybe?
We took them throughout Ogden, and it was fun times.
Minus the creepy old man that was watching me change in some bar parking lot. Freako, leaving a bar (most likely drunk and definitely creepy) at like six at night. ugh.

"Do you LIKE WHAT YOU SEE?!"
"yeahh."

and cue shudder.
I hope Derek does well with his Arizona interview!

(waaay overdue) edit:

a beautifully unedited photo Sarah took on my senior picture extravaganza.  I was looking at a seagull that happened to flutter by as her shutter clicked.  fancy that.

Maybe a little upset

I suck at blogging.
Today was a good day, I went on a friend adventure to Amy's Cage and Sarah took fun pictures- furthering my excitement for her to take my senior pictures. Too bad I don't know how to pose for real.

Anyway, so I'm upset. With my school.
I just recieved a response to my inquiry to Washington State University as to why I did not recieve a scholarship. They did not get my transcripts and test scores until February 26, while they were due by January 31. I paid for them to be sent more than a month before they were recieved.
There is nothing to be done now. I was awarded one scholarship from Utah State University, the Presidential-full tuition/fees, etc.-and I have to accept that by this Friday. So I will. I'm going to be an Aggie.
I don't really know how I feel about it yet.

50 books? really?

Thats it? Internet challenge: read 50 books in one year. I think I read over fifty books in one summer, so this should be pretty easy cheese. soooo I think I'll do a lil' review thing for each book I read? I have three so far (and a half). aaaand go:

1. The Great Gatsby by F. Scott Fitzgerald
Required for AP Lit, but I loved it. Every single bit of it, I thought it was great. I will definitely read it again. I just wanted to give Nick Calloway a big hug, cute little innocent man. And I'd definitely love to time travel to the setting of Gatsby, what with all the fashionable lifestyles and parties, but I'd probably skip over the depressing emptiness bit. Fitzgerald was such a genius.

2. The Awakening by Kate Chopin
Also required, and pretty skinny, but I found I really enjoyed it. I liked the way it was written, with all the shifts in narration. I loved Robert, a lot. And though Edna was a little pathetic at times, I found I could really relate to some of the raw emotion Chopin described.

3. Their Eyes Were Watching God by Zora Neal Hurston
Also also required, also also loved it. For cereal, it was so so so great. A little hard to catch on to the dialect at first, but it definitely got easier as the book went on. Lovely descriptions, and awww Tea Cake! I was a fan.

thats all! Now I'll just finish Recovering Charles (not required!), but first English/government homework beckons. Cruel world.

void

of life, that is. Sometimes I get this really odd sensation of emptiness, or lack of meaning to my life. Maybe not my entire life, but the state of mind I currently feel assumes that. Its weird, because a million different things could trigger it, or sometimes I have no idea at all where it came from. So I guess I'm just writing this down to try to sort of make sense of a bit of it, or to maybe get a feeling of closure before I head off to bed. I need to finish vacuuming my room first, sorry sleeping dad.

Maybe I can lose myself in Gatsby a bit more before I fall asleep, and tomorrow morning all I will feel is utter and complete loathing for school. That sounds pretty accurate.
Goodnight